Sometimes It Hurts Instead
by Abbey Snape
Summary: In the alternative universe after Journey's End  obvious spoilers . It has a melancholy start, but it won't stay that way.  The title is from Someone Like You by Adele: "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."
1. Chapter 1

I watched the Doctor Who series 6 season finale last night, and was generally unimpressed (the same way I've felt about the whole series). So I went back and watched Doomsday for the billionth time, and cried for the billionth time. And then I wanted to write the after-story of Rose and TenToo. I know I will just be one of many many authors who has done so, but since I'm writing it, I figured I would post it. Legal blah blah blah: these characters are owned by BBC and the writers and all that, I am just writing this because they won't. ;)

I also just realized that I posted this on 10/2 - TenToo!

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><p>Rose looked up at the Doctor's clone, staring at his eyes, trying to believe it was him. But after only a moment, she tore her eyes away, looking back to the vacant spot where the Tardis had stood. She felt his eyes on her still, watching her watch the man she loved leave her. At that moment, four hearts were breaking.<p>

Jackie hung back, ringing Pete to get a lift home. She was worried for Rose; the first few months they were here, she had barely said a word. Jackie didn't know if this human Doctor would help or hurt.

Rose pulled away from the still-unfamiliar man-she wasn't even sure what to call him-and just stood in the spot where the Tardis was. She thought she could feel it enveloping her, and in fact, she was right. There was the slightest bit of energy leftover, just for her, for Rose Tyler-the girl that had once been one and the same with the heart of the Tardis.

The Doctor looked at her, smiling sadly, reaching out to feel the energy for a moment before whispering, "She liked you, you know."

Rose startled at his voice, so like her Doctor's voice. "W-what?"

"The Tardis. She said so, she liked you. She would do anything for me, but so would you."

There was another long silence, then the Doctor realized Rose was shaking with silent tears. One thing he did not share with his maker was a deep connection with Rose's emotions, so he did not know if or how she wanted to be comforted. He finally went with his instincts and walked around, pulling her into him, her face buried in his chest. She stayed balled up for a few minutes before grasping his suit, holding on for life.

He rubbed her back with one hand and stroked her hair with the other, kissing the top of her head repeatedly. How many times had he wanted to kiss her?

They stood in the energy for an eternity, Rose crying and stopping and crying again. When she finally stopped, really stopped, the Doctor pulled back, producing a tissue from inside his jacket pocket. She took it, wiping away the remnants of tears and makeup, looking up at him questioningly.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, taking her breath away. "I love you, Rose Tyler."

Her eyes darted down again. She loved... him, the real Doctor.

"You love him, I know," he said sadly. "That's okay."

Rose felt a pang of guilt at that. "It's not okay," she said quickly, then whispered, "but thank you."

He kissed her forehead and she pulled herself up by his lapels, kissing his lips softly. He wrapped his arms firmly around her lower back, picking her up off her feet, finally eliciting a giggle.

"Rose?"

"Mm?"

"What was the first thing I said to you?" he said, with a mischievous grin.

She eyed him, and said, "'Run'... why?"

He winked and repeated the word, grabbing her hand and taking off. She yelped in protest but ran along with him. He ran her all around the beach, through the high tide, around rocks, past her bemused mother. Once they were far across the beach out of Jackie's view, he stopped suddenly, her momentum pulling them down in a heap on the side, limbs strewn about haphazardly.

He disentangled and laid on his side next to her, head propped up on his hand, fingers pushed into his wild hair. It really was _great_ hair, she mused, staring at it for a second too long. He gave her his signature grin and she pulled her eyes away, blushing.

Rose rolled onto her back, staring up at the perpetually grey sky. "This place is so gloomy," she sighed.

He frowned at her tone, and shifted onto his back. "_Wellll_," he started, trying to come up with a scientific reason for it. Science was comforting for him, and it could at least distract her for a moment. But he couldn't come up with anything.

Before she could stop herself, she blurted, "You sound so much like him."

He took care not to wince, visibly at least, and resisted the urge to repeat that he _was_ him.

"I'm sorry," Rose said, frowning. "I'm really sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. It's a lot to take in all at once."

"It's just... y-you're here. And I want you to be him, even though you are him. But he's out there somewhere, right now, without me. And this time, there's no building a dimension cannon to go back. To see him. So what do I do now?"

The Doctor procured the piece of the Tardis from his pocket, holding it up. "The Doctor and Rose Tyler in the Tardis. Just as it should be. I'll teach you how to grow a Tardis. In fact... the energy she left back there. We can use that." His eyes lit up with excitement, and Rose couldn't help but smile.

"Energy?"

"You felt it," he said certainly. "She left a little bit behind, for you."

"For me?" Rose asked, bemused. "Not for you?"

He nodded. "For you. She knew you needed it."

Rose smiled again. "So... growing our own Tardis."

"Growing our own Tardis..."

Her hand slid over to take his, squeezing it. He rubbed the back of her hand softly and they laid in silence, waiting to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

Important to understanding my take on the story is this deleted scene: .com/watch?v=FcqdojFsuNo  
>Essentially, the Doctor gave TenToo a chunk of the Tardis to grow a new one. RTD considers it canon - so I do too!<br>I still don't own Doctor Who.  
>Here's more! Thanks to those who reviewed, and thanks to anyone watching the story. :)<p>

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><p>Rose woke up a while later, cheek on his chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. She pressed her cheek harder against his chest, still getting used to the fact that there was no beat on the right side.<p>

She shifted slightly, and his blue jacket fell off her shoulders. The Doctor caught it and pulled it back over her. "Sleep well?"

She nodded, sitting up to face him. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching her look around, watching the breeze blow her hair around. She had changed too, since before; she looked harder, somehow, and he frowned at the thought.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry. I wished... well, he wished for you to come back for so long, the first time."

She flinched, frowning. "Let's not talk about him, okay?"

He nodded, and she pulled his jacket around her as a cold wind picked up, changing the subject, "We're going to have to get you better clothes. You look off in that shirt."

He laughed, looking down at the plain maroon t-shirt. "I thought I was the rude one!"

Rose smirked, shoving him slightly. They smiled at each other for a second, then laughed nervously. "Um," Rose started unsurely, "what... what do I call you?"

"Well, you could call me Doctor. Orrr John, I like that name. Orrr Madman, if we're going for accuracy," at this, he winked, making her blush again. "What would you _like_ to call me, Rose?"

"I don't know," she said. She wanted to call him Doctor, but then, she wanted him to _be_ the Doctor.

"You could call me Mister Spock," he said wryly.

"You remember that?" she exclaimed.

"Of course I remember. Like I said, same memories."

"I-I thought it would just be... memories of, just you," she said unsurely. "So you even remember things from before we met?"

He nodded, wondering if that made her uncomfortable. "The Doctor, he loved you even with all those memories. The same goes for me."

Rose's eyes watered, but she smiled a little. "So he really did?" she choked.

He sighed, feeling incredibly sad. "Yes, more than you knew. From the beginning... the very beginning."

She nodded, a single, elegant tear streaming down her cheek. He wiped it away, holding his hand there. A moment later, they heard a voice calling Rose's name: Jackie.

"That'll be my mum," Rose murmured, pulling back as the Doctor took his hand down. In the few seconds they had before Jackie would see them, Rose leaned over to kiss the Doctor. He leaned into it just as she pulled off, their eyes locking as Jackie peeked around the rock they were hiding behind.

"_There_ you are!" Jackie snapped. "Time to go, then."

Rose stretched to her feet, holding out her hand to help the Doctor up. She looked up at him for a long moment before Jackie coughed. Rose jumped then turned to walk back with her mum.

Jackie held her silence for an impressive minute before she began rambling. "So I told your dad about... him. But I still don't understand, so... you two can explain? I mean, he's the Doctor, but he's human, and are you going to _live _with us or what? You better get a job, I'm not supporting you..."

"Mum!" Rose cut in, at the same moment the Doctor said, "Jackie!"

Jackie sputtered, but fell silent. Rose smirked at the Doctor, out of Jackie's view. "Mum, it'll be fine. We'll explain."

They made it back to the main beach, where Pete sat in the idling Jeep, with Tony in a carseat in the back. Jackie climbed in the front seat and the Doctor and Rose piled in the back.

"Hey dad," Rose mumbled.

"Hey honey," Pete said. "Welcome back." There was a mixture of sadness and relief in his voice; Rose was his daughter now, even if it wasn't technically true.

The Doctor was silent, and Pete didn't know what to say. The only noise for a while was Tony babbling, otherwise the car was silent in an eerie way, considering two of the most talkative people in the universe were in it.

Finally, the Doctor became uncomfortable enough that he started spouting off about how lovely the weather was and mused if it would be so nice back in London.

Rose tried to appease him by commenting that London weather was never so nice as it was in Norway, but the car lapsed back into silence.

"So you're not really him?" Pete asked suddenly, breaking the tension.

The Doctor and Rose shared a nervous moment before the Doctor decided how to explain. "No, well, not exactly, well, actually _exactly_, but not exactly."

Pete rolled his eyes, muttering, "You sure sound like him."

Rose giggled. "Dad, it's like... the Doctor, the one you know, he's still out there. In the other universe. But this... Doctor... he grew out of the other Doctor's hand, that's a whole other story, which I was there for!" - she and Doctor grinned at each other - "But because it was a human that ... activated the hand, this Doctor is part-human. He only has one heart and he'll age and not regenerate."

"But," the Doctor added, "in my creation, I got all the memories and everything from the original Doctor. So, I am him, exactly, but I'm not exactly him."

Pete kept glancing into the rear view mirror, processing. "And he just dropped you off here?" he asked, not realizing how much the thought of that hurt Rose.

Her face twisted with pain. "Yes..."

"Oh, Rose, I'm sorry," Pete frowned. She shook her head quickly, not wanting to talk or think about it.

The Doctor settled an arm around Rose's shoulder, pulling her against him. She buried her face in his shirt, closing her eyes. The renewed silence and the hum of the engine eventually put her to sleep. The Doctor kissed her hair, watching her as she slept.

"Will she be okay?" Pete asked, remembering the last time the Doctor left Rose at Bad Wolf Bay.

Quietly, trying not to disturb her, the Doctor replied, "I will do anything in my power to make sure she is. It won't be immediate, she doesn't trust me yet, but we'll get there."

Pete nodded, and the rest of the drive to London passed in silence, the Doctor and Pete thoughtful, Jackie, Rose, and Tony sleeping.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello all, sorry for the wait! I still don't own Doctor Who.

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><p><em>We sprint toward one another; I can see nothing but him and his beautiful smile. How I have missed that smile. We are both running so quickly, but it seems to take forever until I am finally in his arms. We nearly knock each other over, but he holds us up, my toes barely touching the ground.<em>

_I hear him say "I love you," but I feel like I'm outside of my body watching it happen. I just smile, unable to form words. He leans in to kiss me, but then tenses. Before I can say "what is it?" he has shoved me aside. I see the Dalek, hear the word, and see it hit him._

_"NO!" I scream as the Doctor flies back, crumpling on the ground. I run over, kneeling beside him. The Dalek approaches me and I can't even bring myself to run._

_"Please don't die, you can't leave me, please... please, no..."_

"Rose..."

Rose thrashed in her sleep. They had arrived back home and the Doctor carried her to bed, watching her as she slept. She was still murmuring, pleading. The Doctor shook her gently. "Rose, wake up, it's just a nightmare."

He could imagine what it was about, and fought back tears. He bent down to kiss her forehead and cheeks, whispering her name over and over. When she still didn't wake, he shook her harder, and her eyes snapped open.

"Oh thank god, you're alive," she cried, her eyes wet. She noticed his matching eyes, and frown. "Doctor? What's wrong?"

He chewed on his lip, not wanting to break her fantasy, or his own. "Nothing. I'm fine," he said, smiling unconvincingly. He swiped away her tears. "You had a bad dream, what happened?"

"It was... it was when I found you and you got killed by the Dalek and... and..." she stammered, slowly realizing where she was. "Oh..."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, not realizing how much he sounded like the original.

Fresh tears formed in her eyes, but she wiped them away quickly with her sleeve. "Sorry..."

He shook his head, kicking off his shoes and crawling into bed to hold her. She leaned into him, head on his chest.

"Rose?" he choked. "I'm going to be here for every nightmare. I'm going to be here."

She looked up at him, cheeks smeared with mascara. "You're going to be here," she repeated. He nodded, brushing the mascara from her cheeks and eyes. She smiled very barely, pressing against him. "I'm so tired..."

"As well you should be, Rose Tyler," he remarked, and they both sat there, thinking about all that had passed.

After a few minutes, Rose perked up, her face bright with an idea. The Doctor smiled at her, his eyes asking what she was thinking. She pulled out her cell phone and showed it to him. "Do- do you think you could fix it?"

His smile fell a little, but he took the phone, peering at it. He had the sudden realization that he no longer had his Sonic Screwdriver. "I'm not sure. But I'll try."

She nodded. "I suppose I'll just have to talk to you, then," she teased, surprising both of them.

He smiled. "Yea, I suppose you will." He shifted, resting a hand on her cheek, pulling her in to kiss her softly. She melted into him, hand resting gently on his chest. The Doctor delighted at being able to kiss Rose-the real Rose, not one who had absorbed the heart of the Tardis or one possessed by Cassandra.

The rest of the world fell away for Rose and the Doctor, that is, until Rose's bedroom door opened without a knock.

"OH! Sorry," Jackie cried, slamming the door shut quickly.

Rose groaned. "What is it, mum?"

"It's nothing..." she murmured.

The Doctor pulled farther away, scooting over. "Jackie, just open the door."

Jackie peered in, then opened the door the rest of the way. She walked over to the bed cautiously, sitting down beside Rose, motherly worry on her face. "You're awake. How are you doing?"

Rose sighed. "I'm fine."

Jackie and the Doctor both frowned. The Doctor looked around nervously, wondering if he should leave. When the room was silent for a long minute, he cleared his throat. "Right, there's... that thing I should do," he remarked, sliding out of bed and shutting the door behind him on the way out.

"I'm still fine," Rose insisted, staring at the door.

"You've been through a lot, Rose," Jackie commented. "And you've slept a whole day almost."

Rose's eyes widened. "Really? I'm still so tired."

"It'll do you good to get up. Maybe show the Doctor around?"

"He's not the Doctor," Rose cut in automatically. Jackie frowned, squeezing Rose's arm.

"Well whoever he is, he's not going to stick around if you keep an attitude like that."

Rose rolled her eyes, deciding she should just get up to avoid this whole conversation. "I'm not fine, okay? I'm not fine. But I will get up," Rose said, cutting off before she finished the sentence with 'so we don't have to talk about this.'

Jackie stared at her for a second, then got up. "Come eat some dinner, then."

Rose watched Jackie walk out, then stretched and climbed out of bed. She walked to her closet to find some clean clothes, her eye falling on a collared blue shirt. She touched it gently-she had bought it because it reminded her of the shirt he wore at the London Olympics. She grabbed it from its hanger, changing her top, then pulling on black tights and a cord skirt.

She padded downstairs, finding the Doctor sitting with her family, chatting up a storm with Tony, who seemed to be very amused by the man with the wild hair and crazy eyes. He looked up when he heard the floor creak, smiling at Rose. She smiled back and sat in the empty chair beside him.

The Doctor was peering at her shirt. "That's not... is it?"

"No, but it reminded me of you..."

"I always liked that shirt. It's not quite any shade of blue. Somewhere between Prussian blue and Yale blue and cobalt and cerulean."

Rose giggled. "I always thought of it as Tardis blue. It's not, exactly, but..."

The Doctor nodded, understanding what she meant. There was a silent moment before Pete said, "Everyone hungry?"

There were murmurs of assent, and the family passed around the dishes, the Doctor regaling them with a tale about Queen Elizabeth I and Yorkshire pudding.


End file.
